RowExpand and RowSelect

I didn't find any documentation about the method to invoke when I expand a row of a DataGrid. The RowExpand method which signature must have?

Basically I want to deny the Selection (AllowRowSelectOnRowClick="false") but when I expand a row I would like to "paint" the selected row like I had selected.

Moreover, I want to collapse the row programmately.... is there a method of grid ?

Both events are using the item as argument:

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